peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
