I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with youâ€
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