'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
as a side note pls kill me
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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