i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
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