My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
