margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
