she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
