Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
