Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
