he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
