Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
