I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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