I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
