I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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