which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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