no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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