I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Someone shattered a urinal.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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