fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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