you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
