Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
