this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Randomize
