i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
