you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
