i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
