we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
