Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
