i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
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