I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
