Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
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