oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Are my feet made of real feet?
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
