But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
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