Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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