Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
