so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
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