Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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