Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Randomize
