I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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