You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
