I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Im part way to drunk.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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