either way he was missing a nipple.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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