Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
