Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
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