Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
