I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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