She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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