Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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