I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
