I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
