dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
