Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
