All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
